This Whole30 is going to be SO easy! I love the thought of having omelets for breakfast every day.
Days 2 to 3:
How can I feel this hungover without having had any alcohol?
Don’t eat a donut in front of me. I will punch you. Don’t say the wrong thing to me. I will kick you. Don’t breathe in front of me. I will kill all thing things.
Days 6 to 7:
Can I just hibernate through the next 24 days?
Days 8 to 9:
Why do my pants feel tighter?!! Wasn’t I supposed to lose weight from this Whole30?!!
Days 10 to 11:
Eff this. All I want to do is eat a cheeseburger.
Days 12 to 15:
Cookies and french fries are haunting my dreams, and my cravings feel worse than a pregnant woman’s.
Days 16 to 27:
So this is what Tiger Blood feels like! I’ve magically become faster and stronger than ever before! I’m invincible!!!
If I have to eat one more egg, I’m going to lose it.
Days 22 to 25:
But I really just want to weigh myself…
I can just end my Whole30 early, right? It’s not like anyone will know…
Days 29 and 30:
OMG, I freaking did it!!! I feel so free I don’t know what to do with myself!
This BAMF deserves a glass of wine.